Don't Ask Me...

...how I found this. Let's just say I have some dirty old biddy friends on Facebook:

"A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls.

They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, “This bull mated 50 times last year.” The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, “He mated 50 times last year.”

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, “This bull mated 120 times last year. ” The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, “That’s more than twice
a week! You could learn a lot from him.”

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, “This bull mated 365 times last year.” The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband’s rib, said,

“That’s once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one.”

The husband looked at her and said, “Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow.”"

Ouch!

And then there's this:

"A Blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”

“In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something.”Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2″, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6’5″ pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”"

And...

"Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a cat-house for some tail….. When they arrived, the madam took one look at them and decided she wasn’t going to waste any of her girls on these two old men.

So she used “blow-up” dolls instead. She put the dolls in each man’s room and left them to their business.

After the two men were finished, they started for home and got to talking.

The first man said, “I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or even groaned… how was it for you?”

The second man replied, “I think mine was a witch.”

The first man asked, “How’s that?” “Well,” said the second man, “when I nibbled on her breast…..she farted and flew out the window!”:)"

What? You'd rather I was all prim and proper?

There's more here.